Why I'm hiking the PCT

Anaheim Hills, CA - Mile 0 - May 31_st, 2017

In the final week before my PCT thru-hike, I'm reading Pacific Crest Trials by Zach Davis and Carly Moree. I'm reading this because though I trust my gear and physical ability to get me through the whole trail, I still do not feel strong enough mentally. I'm sure I won't fully feel strong enough until I actually complete the trail, but there's definitely some things I can improve upon! The book suggests carrying a list of why you are hiking the PCT to look over in trying times. Sounds like a great idea. Here's mine:

-I'm disillusioned with mainstream society and its affinity to self-destruct. I went to school to be better equipped to contribute positive change to the world, but have lost some faith in that. Will I actually be making a change, or just operating within a framework that can't be reframed? In a system of unending paperwork and red tape, will I be any more influential than a robot just following orders? I know I can do something, I've just lost focus

-To understand what my identity is when I am truly alone and without the pressures of conformity

-To rejuvenate my mind so that I am again a better friend in the crowds

-The trail lifestyle harnesses the free, community-based, anti-materialistic lifestyle that tends to only focus on what really matters in life-- a lifestyle that I am most content with

-I feel very disconnected from nature after spending so much time indoors while finishing my BA degree

-I would like to draw new connections between all of the thoughts and information that I crammed into my head while in school and make some sense of it, so that I can translate this into positive action

-I'd like to be able to help others connect more with nature, but need to connect more myself before I can do this

-I may not be able to complete the trail when I'm older, for whatever reasons. I feel like the time to do it is now, not "someday"

-To find a clearer life path-- whether that involves getting a masters degree or not

-To reset my habits and health-- I feel pretty drained after finishing college

-To humble myself and get a new perspective of the world

-To get over my biggest fear once and for all: being alone

-I'm not sure if I can handle the mental challenge of completing the PCT, and want to prove to myself and others than I can